Couples therapists report a 50% increase in female
infidelity. The cover story in the current issue of
Newsweek magazine is all about cheating wives: "The New
Infidelity – From Office Affairs to Internet Hook-Ups, More
Wives Are Cheating Too." Yet, as widespread as female
infidelity has become, many unsuspecting husbands have no
idea their wives are having an affair. They often find
themselves in a situation like David in the Newsweek
article, who found out his wife was cheating the day she
told him she wanted a divorce. Unsuspecting husbands are
often surprised when they learn about a cheating wife's
extramarital affair. But, the stark reality is that if a
husband isn't familiar with the signs of infidelity, by the
time he finds out his wife is cheating, it's usually too
late.
Women Don't Become Cheaters Overnight
Yet many of the signs may have been there all along. A
woman doesn't become a cheating wife overnight. Infidelity
develops in stages. In almost every case, there are
numerous telltale signs along the way. In fact, many of the
warning signs of impending infidelity are evident long
before the physical act of infidelity actually takes place.
Know How to Spot the Telltale Signs
The husband who knows how to spot the signs of infidelity
has a fighting chance to save his marriage. He won't end up
like John LeSage in the Newsweek article who was devastated
when he came home one day and found that his wife of 24
years had disappeared. John said, "I would have done a lot
things differently, but I never got the chance." This
loving, but unsuspecting husband never knew his marriage was
in jeopardy because he was unfamiliar with the warning
signs.
Identifying the Problem
The first step in solving a problem is knowing that the
problem exists. There are certain telltale signs that serve
as a wake-up call that a marriage is in trouble. A husband
doesn't need to hire a private detective or invest in
sophisticated surveillance equipment to find out if his wife
is having an affair. If he knows what to look for, all he
needs are his eyes, his ears and his personal knowledge of
his wife. Knowing what to look for is the key.
21 Categories of Telltale Signs
There are 21 categories of telltale signs, with numerous
signs in each category. Of course, no can be expected to
know them all. That's why it makes sense to invest in a
relationship reference book like Is He Cheating on You? in
order to become more knowledgeable about the warning signs.
After all, most families have a medical reference book in
their home to alert them to the signs and symptoms of health
and medical problems. The same thing applies to marital
problems like infidelity.
Universal Telltale Signs
Some of the signs of infidelity documented in Is He Cheating
on You? – 829 Telltale Signs apply exclusively to cheating
men. But many of the signs are universal and apply to both
cheating husbands and cheating wives. Additional information
about infidelity can be found at www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com
Although the website is primarily directed to women, about a
third of the e-mails received come from men seeking advice
about various telltale signs.
So What Should a Husband Do?
With infidelity affecting 80% of all marriages, the husband
who values his marriage would do well to become familiar
with the warning signs. He should always strive to be
aware of his wife's feelings and keep abreast of the things
that are going on in her life. It's not about being overly
suspicious. It's about keeping a finger on the pulse of his
marriage. Forewarned is forearmed. This way, he'll be
equipped to recognize even the most subtle telltale signs.
The future of his marriage may well depend on his ability to
spot those telltale signs in time.
© Ruth Houston 2004 All rights reserved.
Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? – 829
Telltale Signs". Her lifestyle and relationship articles
have appeared in major magazines for the past 20 years. For
more information about the book, infidelity or cheating
spouses, visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com
